So, a couple of weeks ago I promised my Faithful Readers a funny, embarrassing, food story about my college days. Here it is.
Do y’all remember the Dairy Queen Blizzard? Dairy Queen is an American burger chain and The Blizzard is probably their premier product. It is soft-serve ice cream mixed with cookies or candies into sort of a thick milkshake – a really thick milkshake. So thick that DQ’s gimmick is to serve all Blizzards upside down to prove they are so thick they won’t run out of the cup.
As the video says, this gimmick started in the mid-1980’s and was probably at the height of its novelty and popularity when I went off to college in 1987.
Well, when I got to University, there was no DQ in town, but there was a tiny burger chain named Mr. Cook with a location right by the dorm I was staying in. Mr. Cook was derived from an older burger chain called Burger Chef, and I think as the Mr. Cook chain began to decline they eventually became Hardees or else maybe Hardees bought the rights to some of Mr. Cook’s menu items and logos, like the “Big Chef” burger.
Anyway, It was not long after I got to University during the scalding hot summer term before I stopped in at Mr. Cook’s for a cold drink. The place sort of reminded me of a Dairy Queen. Similar physical plant, Similar menu offerings. So I ordered what looked like Mr. Cook’s version of a Blizzard.
(I know you can see this coming!)
And pretty soon, the pretty young front counter worker handed me the milkshake.
(Wait for it.)
And I reflexively turned it upside down just like the Blizzards I was accustomed to getting, and the whole thing sloshed out onto her workstation and all over her countertop and all over everything!
She stood there with her hands on her hips and her eyebrow arched. I stood there mortified, holding the empty cup. We both stood there with our jaws hanging open.
I was the first to begin to recover from the surprise but the only thing I could think of to say about the situation was, “Hmmm, not as thick as a Blizzard, huh?”
I stood there for a couple more heartbeats, then I ran!
I don’t think I ever worked up the courage to go back to that Mr. Cook location!
If you are that front counter worker (or if you know her) that I poured that drink on in the summer of 1987, I’m REALLY sorry! I can only plead stupidity and shock and testosterone poisoning. Hopefully, I have evolved from that idiot college freshman that ran instead of helping you clean up that mess!